Needs and Feelings List

This universal list is a vocabulary of what some would call a range of emotions. The word emotion can be vague and confusing. The term emotional regulation ususally means something negative. Think about it, why would we want to regulate joy, delight, inspiration, gratitude, or happiness. Aren’t these emotions? Greater clarity comes from calling these feelings. Have you ever heard of a person getting upset when someone expresses such feelings?

Now let’s look at feelings that are associated when needs are not met: anxiety, disappointment, irritation, resentful, troubled, fearful, frustration, overwhelmed, anger, etc. You’d have to agree that these are the kinds of emotions that seem to be a call for regulation, especially in the classroom. Doesn’t emotional intelligence mean learning how to keep these feelings in check? One may call them emotions, but the feelings list establishes more clarity.

Emotions rarely refer to the feelings that we associate with being upbeat. On the other hand, we hear phrases that negatively refer to emotions:

“I’m too emotional to deal with this!”

“He’s an emotional train wreck”

“Why is she so emotional?”

“He’s an emotional train wreck”

“You have to keep your emotions in check”

Becoming articulate in a range of feelings, which you’ll see in the NVC list, can give one the kind of perspective to recognize that feelings are simply a measure of needs met or not met.