Natalie Artemyeff, The Relationship Foundation

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There are twelve wedding TV shows currently on the air. Yup, twelve:

Amazing Wedding Cakes
Bridezillas
Bulging Brides
My Big Redneck Wedding
My Fair Wedding with David Tutera
Platinum Weddings
The Real Wedding Crashers
Rich Bride Poor Bride
Rock the Reception
Say Yes To The Dress
A Wedding Story
TLC Weddings

What do viewers think when they watch these shows? What are these shows implying about gender roles? What’s really been said?

Since it’s often touted as “good for inspiration,” I tuned in to My Fair Wedding With David Tutera. After watching the show for a week, I got that: if your wedding doesn’t cost at least $50,000 you and your wedding are lacking, and you should treat your soon-to-be husband more like an accessory than your partner in the planning process. Oh! And unless David Tutera picked it out for you, your dress is ugly.

What I got from watching the other shows was similarly bleak, yet we as a community keep watching. While divorce rates hover around 50%, the demand for wedding shows increases and the average cost of a wedding in the United States swells to $24-$30,000.

The glamorized TV brides and grooms are no exception. If there’s one thing the public loves more than a celebrity wedding (William & Kate and Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries come to mind), it’s a celebrity divorce:

This chart was in an article about Sinead O’Connor & Barry Hirridge’s 16-day marriage. Sinead has since made two suicide attempts.

By the end of my peek into the Wedding Industrial Complex, my head was spinning. I came to find in what was presented that whether friendships between friends and/or family were severed, regardless of how much the bride and groom-to-be fought, and despite any financial concerns, keeping the wedding on track was always the priority. The party, attention, and stuff (so much stuff!) trumped the relationships.

Equally concerning is the way both the public and the media put that fairytale wedding on a pedestal, ignore the damage done (unless, of course, dramatic enough to make for “good TV”), and then swarm like vultures over the inevitable breakups of spotlighted relationships that were doomed from the beginning….Set ‘em up to watch ‘em fall!

Do we really tune in just for the ego boosts (“We got our problems, but we are DEFINITELY better than those people!”)? When you turn off the TV is there really no residue that nestles somewhere in the wrinkles of the brain?

There seems to be an expectation of weddings to calm/cure insecurities and fill needs that aren’t being met.

Perhaps what both men and women too often overlook is actually a rather simple question:

Do I want the experience of a marriage or a wedding?